Chapter 18 – All’s well that ends swell.
“Well, here we are. Man, I can’t believe all this is finally over.”
“Well, we saved the girl and killed the sexually ambigious villain. I’d say we’ve done our fair share of heroics.”
“Yeah. Shall we take some time to stroll around Vane and receive our well-earned accolades?”
“Sure thing, glory-hound.”
“He sure did. I even got this swanky sword from him after we basically stabbed him to death.”
“Although we probably shouldn’t forget that he let us do that. He pretty handily owned all our collective asses several times before that point.”
“Shush now. Don’t rain on my parade.”
“Well, if that really is true, I guess that makes you one of the few that didn’t wet their panties in fear.”
“Can’t argue with that.”
“Yeah. I would have loved seeing it, but we were all kind of busy saving the world.”
“Lemina! Lemina! Lemina had some good help from her friends.”
“Lemina! Lemina! Lemina owe us bigtime here.”
“Who didn’t give up all hope? As far as I remember, Ronfar and Mauri had to step up on the soapbox in the library to stop all you guys from joining the ‘monthly cheese & whine’ club.”
“Yeah, you were all pretty much going ‘OH NOEEES WE R DOOMED’ with a side order of ‘I’ve been naughty and need a spanking’.”
“Somehow, I don’t have any problems believing that.”
“Furthermore, redneck jokes are SO 80’s. Get with the times, already.”
“Ah, of course. How could we ever forget about miz Spanky?”
“We didn’t. We just forgot that we weren’t supposed to go and talk to her.”
“Oh, how could we ever forget?”
“And how could we ever forget the children we rescued from the mines, where YOU sent them to slave for you.”
“Aw, come on. No need to bring up that now? Besides, why aren’t you putting Lunn to the cross while you’re at it? He trained children into becoming assassins?”
“Oh, we haven’t forgotten that, believe you me.”
“Um…. oh-kaaay. Yeah, I like you too, but not that way.”
“We haven’t forgotten about your ‘private conversations’, you know.”
“Hahaha, you kidder. Let’s… just forget about those, eh?”
“I’m sure Borgan would love that.”
“Yeah, you should definitely show his groin your pride and power every day.”
“Nice idea. Thanks, Ruby.”
“Any time.”
“And I’m never going to forget the first time we saw you in that dancer outfit. Yowza!”
“Hee hee. Since it’s you guys, I’m going to take that as a compliment.”
“Yepyep. Extroverted lust is a-A-OK when you’re young.”
“Not really.”
“It’s definitely made you the first Old Guy/Hero, though.”
“Don’t you ever change, you mean-spirited kids.”
“Yeesh, we DID defeat Zophar, and you’re still being a pessimistic panty-wetter.”
“And you call yourself a dragon?”
“Oh, shut it. As if you did a whole lot of work throughout this quest.”
“More than you.”
“Well, I gave you the wings that got you out of a hot spot between Althena’s four heroes and later helped you blast the shield covering Althena’s tower.”
“And we rescued the children from YOUR place, as well as all the dragons.”
“Hiro and the others did that. You just tagged along.”
“Are you two done quarreling like a married couple now?”
“Shut up, Hiro.”
“Sounds like a sweet deal, doesn’t it, Ruby?”
“Heading over to babysit a buncha kids? Sure, how couldn’t THAT be anything but a great time?”
“OK, Ruby. You’re right. You should come be a third wheel with me and Lucia instead.”
“….ooon second thought.”
“Oh, there’s going to be more than ONE blast. Heh heh.”
“A LETTER. So, what do I do with it?”
“You read it, of course. Dumbass.”
“Well, that was enriching, but it didn’t tell me anything I didn’t plan on doing anyway.”
“Well, then… get to it, you horny little man.”
“You don’t have to ask ME twice.”
“Yeesh, you’re so eager. Want to watch or something…. pervert?”
“I bet you would like that.”
“Alright, alright, I’m going. Keep your pants on.”
“Hey, Lucia. Wanna come to my place and check out my dragon eye collection?”
“Um… what?”
“Uh… never mind.”
“Sure has. In fact, I’m kind of disappointed that you haven’t grown a more sizable rack by now.”
“What’s a ‘rack’? Isn’t that something you place books or something on?”
“Ummm… sure, Lucia. Man….”
“Actually, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind joining in on a threesome.”
“Are we playing cards?”
“…..”
“What’s the matter, Hiro. You look kind of… um, I don’t think I’ve seen THIS expression before.”
“It’s nothing. Let’s just go.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“It’s called psychosis. Might want to look into a shrink or something for that.”
“Oh, the Blue Star will be revived again. And once that’s done, I will return to Lunar to exact a terrible revenge on you. So yeah, you WILL be sorry.”
“W-wha…?”
“Nah, just kidding.”
“Lucia, your sense of humor has turned surprisingly dark here.”
“Yeah, I’m glad to hear that, but I… still think I need to go change my pants.”
“Oh, I’m sure we can find the time to just drop in and say hello. And right after that, we’ll be heading out again.”
“Oh! Well, I guess I better prepare a room with some shackles, then.”
“Yeep! And now Lemina.”
“Hey, I’ll have you know my clothes are perfectly fine. Besides, who are you to talk, Bandanna boy?”
“Violent urges rising again.”
“Um… you may want to put a lid on those urges, Lucia, because Jean can kick you five ways from Sunday without breaking a sweat.”
“…better than all the rest, better than anyone, anyone I’ve ever met!”
“And that will be enough from you. Didn’t I revoke your singing license?”
“Man, that’s a double dose of happiness.”
“Two for the price of one?”
“This demands further study. Come on, Hiro. We’re going home.”
“Yes, dear.”
“Wow, that’s the fastest turnaround from bigshot player to whipped loser I have ever seen.”
“I was just kidding.”
“And boy, has he been waiting for a while.”
“Oh my. I hope he hasn’t tried holding his breath or anything.”
“Lucia, that’s… just an expression.”
“Oh.”
“It almost sounds like you’ll be leaving me very shortly. Crazy, huh?”
*cough* “Yes, that’s… um…”
“I don’t think Ruby’s ever said that. She’s more likely to say things like ‘shut up’ or ‘I AM AN DRAGONZ’.”
“Right, right.”
“It’s even been a small eternity since we’ve been lost at sea together. Ah, memories.”
“HEEEEEELP!”
“There you go with the subtle hints about leaving very soon again. Are you kidding around to make me nervous?”
“Nono, I mean… um, adventures and stuff. Yeah.”
“Sucks to be grandpa, though, but hey… you can’t make an omelet without breaking some old people’s will to live.”
“Almost back now. Have you brushed up on your farewell speech yet, Lucia? You should probably try to make it as little heartwrenching as possible.”
“Oh… ah, yes, of course.”
“Um… OK. I’ll just silence these warning signs I can almost hear screaming like rabid claxons. Nope. No bad vibes about this request. No, siree.”
“Here we are at the phallic spires again.”
“Um… what?”
“Er… nothing.”
“….”
“….”
“The silence is deafening. Say something before I go completely loco here.”
“I… am going to miss these sights.”
“Luuuuciaaa! You’re doing the ‘strong hints about leaving’ thing again. My force of denial can only do so much.”
“I know, Hiro. I… I just need a few more seconds.”
“Lucia, I find your sudden change to your original uniform disconcerting. The last time you did that, you pretty much betrayed us all and took the power of Althena.”
“Dammit, Hiro. Why didn’t… why couldn’t… why can’t I settle on some decent words here?”
“Lucia, what are you saying?”
“This… this is goodbye, Hiro. I really need to go back and sleep in my crystal for no particular reason until the time to revive the Blue Star is nigh.”
“But… but, I don’t get it.”
“It’s… it’s just something I have to do.”
“But why? Can’t you just return any time you like?
“Oh, Hiro. That would be so… convenient. But no, I must listen to my dramatic heart and do this thing. Otherwise, I would feel all empty inside.”
“That… made no sense. Why are you doing this, Lucia. Why now?”
“I would have liked telling you, Hiro, I really do. The truth is, this kind of ending is more dramatic.”
“DO NOT WANT! DO NOT WANT AT ALL!”
“Well, I guess this is it, huh?”
“Ack! Turn down the light. I can’t see. Are you changing clothes again? Or getting naked in preparation for the crystal?”
“Um… neither.”
“OK, now’s my chance to get a gander of the sweet booty of Lucia.”
“Wha… you’re not naked at all. DISAPPOINTED!”
“Are… you trying to make me glad I’m leaving?”
“Well, no matter. I guess I’m just dragging this out longer than I need to.”
“No, wait! Please drag out the time some more.”
“Just a little higher up, Lucia. I can ALMOST see underneath your cape.”
“Oh, Hiro. You’re such a…. a pervert.”
“Wait, don’t leave yet. I just need to get… a… little… bit… closer.”
“Bye, Hiro.”
“She… she went into the light.”
*hnnnngh*
“OFFBLAAAAAAST!”
“Well, this is a bit of a deja vu. I wonder if Lucia left again or if we’ll be getting visits from more hot, blue-haired girls.”
“That’s…..”
“It’s Lucia’s bigass medallion. Man, she was packing some serious bling.”
“Um… Hiro, are you OK?”
“Hey, Ruby. Weren’t you supposed to be at Taben’s Peak?”
“Don’t be like that, Hiro. I just came to help you, you know.”
“…..”
“Hiro, I find your expression quite unnerving.”
“Alrighty, then. Let’s head out.”
“Aye aye, cap’n.”
“Ah, the ship, the sea, the saltwater in my face and the bling around my neck. This is the life.”
“So, where do we go now?”
“Um… say something, Hiro. You’re doing that ‘unnerving expression’ thing again.”
And with that, we come to the conclusion of our little tale. Hiro, together with Ruby, sets out to discover the secret to life, love and liberty. As for the others…
Ronfar and Mauri settle down in Raculi and take up farming. Ronfar’s village cred took a heavy hit, however, after the whole ‘lumberjack song’ incident.
Jean once again donned her fabulous dancer outfit, much to the joy of the guys in the troupe. Not much else to say about that.
Leo went out to sea to, as he put it, go on a ‘search for himself’. Word on the street says he’s still looking.
Lemina is, unsurprisingly, still on the job rebuilding the city of Vane. Her dreams, judging by how she always drools in her sleep, still revolves around money.
Right before the bad premonition struck Ruby, she was spending her time at Taben’s Peak, constantly getting underfoot and making Nall’s life harder than he preferred it to be.
And Hiro, well, he seems OK. Still travelling around on the Destiny, he seems to have gotten over Lucia’s departure. Everything seems to finally have gone full circle.
And thus, this is it. This is… the end.
