Chapter 14: The little Dragon that could.
“Well, FINALLY we’re going to go get my powers released.”
“Yes, Ruby. Finally.”
“Now, are you sure there aren’t any more bonus caves and such lying around unexplored? Perhaps we’ll find some more useless stuff in them that you just have to get? Any hidden temples or caverns to go spelunking in?”
“Now, now, Ruby. Don’t forget what we have to do before we can enter your lair in the first place.”
*grumble* “Yeah, I guess…”
“Wow, isn’t this just a temple of ill omen?”
“Yeah. Purplish walls and that creepy symbol and all. This is just going to be so much fun.”
“He’s going to take you potty training? Given how you smell, I guess that might actually be useful.”
“Thanks, but I don’t do world redecorations. I mean… Who do you think I am? One of the Fab Five?”
“Iiin the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lioooon sleeeeps toniiiiight….”
“Stop that!”
“So…. he’s a doctor?”
“Oh! So, they’re samurai? That makes sense, I guess.”
“Yeah, he’s a samurai, alright… like those dopes in Space Runaway Ideon.”
“That makes even more sense, scarily enough.”
“Oh, that used to happen to me all the time when I lived in Larpa. I’m guessing ‘enormous intake of alcohol’ might not be your problem, though.”
“Why do I feel I might wish I had this ‘enormous intake of alcohol’ problem some time before we finish all this?”
“That’s what you get for sleeping on the job, slacker.”
“Well, I guess she’ll be lying there and babbling like a vegetable until we run this miracle cure of yours, Lucia. So, shall we?”
“An ‘arrow fish’? So, who came up with this unholy union of weaponry and underwater sealife?”
“I don’t even think I can eat that thing.”
“Oh wow. Six to beam up, Enterprise.”
“Scotty can beam me up any day.”
“Trekkies. Whotta bunch of geeks.”
“What the hell are THOSE?!”
“Crystals. You know, I just don’t want to go there right now, so… moving on.”
“There is actually a story about these tears.”
“Which probably goes somewhere along the lines of ‘once upon a time blah blah, and once Althena saw his/her/its plight, she cried tears and blah blah they turned out to contain the blessing of healing and so forth.”
“Well, yeah. Something like that. Given your tone when saying that, I guess you’d rather just be done with this place so we can move on?”
“Well, duh!”
“Twice, because saying something dramatic is too good for a single time.”
“Why, I believe that was more sarcasm.”
“She’s just being difficult about it so we’ll become sick of it and aim to get this quest done quickly.”
“Well, it’s working.”
“I can almost imagine it. ‘Larpan gambler sends several people out of house and home and into debt to repay strange girl from Blue Star. Film at 11’.”
“Well, I can’t say this with absolute 100% certainty, but you can probably blame your legs for that.”
“Yeah, like ‘shamble around in a small circle’ and ‘sputtering a lot of nonsense’. I’m sure those two will be really hard to live down.”
“Actually, it’s pretty sweltering and desolate, but hey… anything that floats your boat.”
“Oh, not nearly as much as you did some minutes ago when we came here.”
“And trust me, that was not a pretty sight.”
“Yeah, I guess we can’t argue against that.”
“Well, either these people really don’t remember, or they’re just too embarrassed to admit they got up here only to act like complete loons.”
“My money’s on the latter.”
“At least she’s not standing in the doorway anymore. Can we please get this over with now?”
“Oh wait, I know this play. It’s… hmm… yeah, it’s ‘Settlement and condemnation’.”
“Um, what?”
“Hush. Don’t ruin this dramatic moment.”
“Help me, Leo van Kenobi. You’re my only hope.”
“You shall find your freedom… in death.”
“Wat?”
“Leo, come on! Do you always have to choose the most bombastic and theatrical way of dealing with things? Anyway, we got this case sorted, so chill, dude.”
“I don’t know about you guys, but I found that change in style in a single sentence unnerving.”
“That’s Ronfar for ya.”
“Quick, everyone. Initiate formation ‘T’ for ‘Timeout’.”
“Again, Leo; chill. There’s nothing that calls for this kind of drama, not even what will happen in a few minutes.”
“No, a ‘cruel dream’ usually involves leather and bondage. What you are looking for is an ‘all this for nothing’ dream.”
“By thea gloooory of JAYSUS, you’re healed. HALLELUJAH!”
“By the glory of who?”
“Don’t ask me. I was deceived by a fake Goddess not too long ago, so I’m not feeling particularly religious at the moment.”
“Uh oh… I’m feeling weiARRGHBLEARGH!”
“She threw up all over her clothes.”
“Ew!”
“Oh, you mean that this isn’t going to be as easy as we thought? Who knew? Anyway, OMG WHAT SHALL WE DO? I’LL DO ANYTHING FOR LOVE…!”
“Actually, I was about to add ‘but I won’t do that’. But sure, why not.”
“And you may want to be quick about it.”
“Oh, just a few seconds more, then I’ll finish CHARGIN MAH LAZOR!”
“OK, what just happened? Did Lucia help Ronfar by… uh, zapping him unconscious?”
“I didn’t get all of it, but she talked about ‘getting inside her brain’ or something. I guess we’re going to crack that skull open and spill her brainjuice. I’m guessing Lucia made it so that Ronfar wouldn’t have to watch us do it.”
“Yeah, I was hankering for some ‘fire of judgement’ right about now. Take lots of wrong steps in there, Ronfar. For me.”
“Well, no time to elaborate. Gotta go, and quick.”
“Er…. THIS is the ‘fire of judgement’?”
“My sister… she’s got birds on her brain.”
“Nope, I’m totally not doing that pun. Too obvious.”
“Hmm. What’s this large open area I’ve reached. Is this the extent of Mauri’s brain? That’s… not a lot.”
“Oh God, Zophar has been watching bad gameshows with my girl. Does his evil know no limit?”
“No more ‘Stump the stars’, please. Oh God, I can’t take this anymore… *sob*”
“We’ll start a new life in Larpa together, as the gamblin’ couple.”
“Oh God, that’s even worse. Enough, Zophar… just let me die.”
“Um… OK, that didn’t go over as well as I had hoped. Oh well, I guess I’ll just kick her out of her own mind.”
“Well, that was quite the experience.”
“I’m not sure what happened just now, but I still feel kind of awful.”
“What were you two doing in there?”
“You don’t want to know. I’m sure of it.”
“And to think I almost murderized my sister.”
“Pardon me? You’re strong, but you’re not THAT strong. I think it’s pretty clear who would come out victorious in this outcome.”
“Oh, listen to mr. Bigshot. I would have cut you down like a twig.”
“Oh yeah! In your dreams, SISTER!”
“That’s right. I would slap you silly even if I was sleeping.”
“Oh, you’re SO dead!”
“Over YOUR dead body.”
“Have the two of you lost your goddamn minds?”
“…so stop acting like a bunch of retards.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, brother.”
“There’s no need to apologize. It was my fault as well, for not letting it slide. *whispering* I would so win that fight, though.”
“I’m sorry. Were you saying something, BROTHER?”
“Oh… nothing. Nothing at all.”
“Not yet, but once I receive my powers, it’s time to CELEBRATE!”
“…I’m just a simple SISTER MURDERER! OH GOD, I HATE MYSELF AND I HAVE TO RUN AWAY AGAIN LIKE I ALWAYS DO!”
“There goes a man…. with absolutely NO control over his emotions. Yeesh!”
“Word.”
“Alright! Paydirt at last.”
“Yeah, time does actually grow short… BEFORE I LOSE MY TEMPER! Come ON already.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Just one more thing….”
“I hate long goodbyes.”
“I don’t. Haha, seriously? ‘Sugar lips’?”
“Um… don’t ask.”
“Finally FINALLY! About goddamn time finally. Now it’s MY turn to shine.”
“I’m sure he’ll say something along the lines of ‘Wow, Ruby. You put on some weight there?’ ”
“Oh, shut up!”
“And just as I was wondering what kind of enemies we would be facing in here.”
“At least they’re not yanking our… well, you know.”
“Hooray for small blessings, I guess.”
“Now those are some tight caves. I guess it’s good that we’re walking in single line all the time.”
“I can barely see where you’re walking. There’s barely even room to flap my wings.”
“Well, there’s not much to see. Literally. Just a few scattered chests and a huge hole with lava at the bottom.”
“Um….”
“Yeah. What kind of weirdo put together this thing?”
“What? Why are you looking at me? I’ve never been here before in my entire life.”
“OK, now we’re getting somewhere.”
“Or not. Can we please take this seriously?”
“Yeesh. This place is a nightmare to navigate. You could take some lessons from… well, any of the other three dragons, actually.”
“I TOLD you I’ve never ever been here before.”
“Holy crap! Guys, you need to stand ABSOLUTELY STILL, seeing as we’re cavorting across a lava river on a small metal plate.”
“I would stand still if you’d stop elbowing me in the butt.”
“That’s… not me.”
“Then who… ah HA! Ronfar, tell me why I shouldn’t just kick you into the fire right now?”
“Because that would tip over this plate and kill us all?”
“Rrrrgh!”
“I’d say something like ‘finally, it looks like we’re getting somewhere’, but I don’t feel that optimistic at this point.”
“But we rode a steel plate over open flame. We haven’t done much of that yet, have we?”
“True.”
“Well, now. What’s this?”
“It’s some weird-ass floaty machinery designed to do something.”
“Thank you, mr. Encyclopedia Machinia.”
“Well, activating the orbs caused the huge rock things to descend. That… doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, does it?”
“There’s no point in asking ME.”
“I’m curious what good that little side quest did. Seemed kind of pointless to me.”
“Nope. Still the same, ol’ fire-surfing of doom.”
“Joy. I needed some more of that in my life.”
“TO DA XTREME!”
“Oh, I see. So those stone things blocked up the lava flow. That’s convenient now, but I guess we gotta hurry this along so we get out before the damn thing overflows.”
“And here’s the last item on the fiend roster. Kind of disappointing, actually. It looks so frail.”
“Anorexic, even.”
“Dibs on the unicorn horn. I can make a killing on the medicine I make from that one.”
“OK, finally that’s done. And pretty directly for the sake of Ruby.”
“Anticipations? Yeah, I’ve got me some of that.”
“Um… Ruby, given how you were basically chewing our faces for not doing this, shouldn’t something happen now that we finally did?”
“Oh, shut up! I’m… uh, just preparing myself.”
“I’m saying you’re stalling the whole thing. I’m saying you are being a… well, pun intended; a ‘fraidy-cat.”
“Who said anything about having to leave? Your workload might up a bit, but that’s pretty much it.”
“Indeed. And so, without further ado, here’s what you’ve all been waiting for.”
“And man, does it feel SWEET! Real ultimate power, baby.”
“Ignoring your somewhat creepy comment, Ronfar; thanks everyone.”
“But it’s true. You’re downright adorable. You’re even still somewhat pink, despite being a red dragon.”
“You never know when to quit, do you? Well, I’m feeling benevolent at the moment, so I won’t envelop you in an all-engulfing fire.”
“Besides, seeing as how we’re all standing bunched up like this, that would be a bad idea anyway.”
“W-what do you mean, Ruby?”
“Oh, come ON, Lucia. Everyone and their cat has this thing figured out long before now.”
“Um… no comment. Anyway, yeah… Pentagulia now.”
“Dragons: they also come in convenient travel sizes.”
“Good grief! All this time bitching about your powers, and you go straight back to being a small cat.”
“Yes, but even though I changed into a small cat, I still HAVE my powers. And that, as they say, is what’s important.”
“Point to you, I guess. Anyway, back to the Destiny, post haste.”
“OK, here we are. So, our plan is basically this: one short stop at Raculi to sell some of the excess stuff, and then we hit Pentagulia. Almost literally.”
“Sounds good to me.”
And so, we bid our adventurers yet another temporary farewell. The big battle is nearly upon them all, and a big showdown it will be…. barring nothing unforseen happening, of course. But what are the odds for that? Still, there’s always time for a short visit to your roots before heading off for destiny. Fare thee well, readers. We will see each other again soon.
“I think this calls for a ‘say no more’. Maybe even a bit of a ‘nudge, nudge’.”
“His wife is most certainly a ‘goer’.”