Chapter 6: Blue skies at last.
Well…. at least I’m outside. Sorta.
Guys on fire and demon balls. Please, please, PLEASE can we have some variety in our enemies?
Oh, I’m sure we could have fit in a few more spikes on those plateaus. There’s no such thing as “too agonizing a death”, as I always say.
Ah, the leap of faith. Did I mention how much I missed you? No? Well, let’s just say there’s a reason for that.
Hmm. One slight error of judgement leads to horrible impaling-related deaths. You’d think count Vlad designed this world.
Oh god, the “in” doorway once more. I guess every world DOES have a bonus stage like this. As if this quest hasn’t been a horrible tragedy enough already.
At least I can dig out some hidden bonuses here. It’s not even all that weird an item either.
Hey, who are you calling “yellow”?
Oh, ANOTHER leap of faith. Did I ever mention tha-.. no? Well, then…
Wow, thanks the powers above. This bonus stage was mercifully short.
Well, gee, it’s another bonus item, and even though it’s a crazy one, it’s also one we’ve seen before.
More old guys to rescue. I bet this is just someone’s twisted, sick experiment. The backgrounds are getting more and more normal while the items and enemies and the whole thing gets more and more weird. They’re just trying to see how much I can take before I snap. But they won’t get me, you hear? THEY WON’T GET ME!
Nope. Everything is fine. That orange chest is a lie and the coin is just trying to lure me to swift death. I’ve got it ALL figured out.
Hah! See? Oh god, and now the axe minions are bright red. That’s just ONE step from pink, don’tchaknow?
The time has almost run out of the hourglass. I must grab it and smash the two jugs as soon as possible.
*sob* More demon balls. I… I must be strong. I must prevail.
All hail the secret radish. Bow down and worship his vitamin-y goodness.
The balls… they’re everywhere. How many must I smash with my weapon before this madness ends?
An-.. another old man. You’re one of THEM, aren’t you? Why are you tormenting me? Why?!
They have no heads and I must scream. And then, the Michelin Man comes for me, and there shall be no salvation for my soul.
Oh god, not again. Not the many arrows. What terrors will you have me face now, mystical arrows?
Peeekaaaa… BOO! HAVE AT YOU, VILE PSYCHOLOGICAL BEAST! TORMENT ME NO MORE!
He is finally dead and I am free. Free to enter the temple of madness and meet the end within.
My posing has lost all meaning. Victory is but a hollow call to my melodramatic core, and I shall go face it. Meet you on the other side, my friend.