Chapter 5: On second thought, the princess is not in this castle. It is a silly place.
Well, I’m standing on the ramparts of a castle now. How does one go from a nightmarish dark world with gigantic bones on the wall, then to a fiery, red cave and THEN to more normal places like a stone cave or a castle? Can I ever expect anything here to make any sense?
What the… ok, spikes facing each other in the wall. My bad for thinking this would be anything in the realm of normalcy.
Ok, nothing TOO outrageous so far, except that I’m apparently already fighting that demon-in-a-ball thing again. I can deal with this. I can, I can, I can.
And another flower… that somehow digs itself up through stone floors. I must… stay… focused.
Ahaha, thank the heavens, I can afford the best weapon now. Farewell, accidental castrator. Welcome, burner of leg hairs. May we share many agonizing moments together.
Ok, so I’m beating up a flame demon with a weapon made of flames. Hey, it’s working, so I’m not going to think too hard about it.
Back to me and my undies again. Good thing I have this neat weapon to singe the hairs off my ballsy balls balls. Shrinkydink is not much fun.
More demon balls. Jesus, why?!
Oh god, please no. Stop staring at me, old man. I just… I just want this stage to end already. I don’t care if I manage to rescue these lands anymore, I just want it all to end…
Oh, finally some clothing again. I’m saved.. oh, no! Not the “in” doorway. NOOOOOO!
*sigh* I just don’t know anymore. When I’ve reached the point where I’ve stopped caring about the stoned cloned siblings and the orange chests and whatnot, what will be the next part to tip me over the edge of madness?
A… dragonfly bonus hidden in a wall. Thank you, oh, so much.
And more demon balls firing pink flame spears. I just want to go home now.
Please, old man. I just want to get out of this place. I’ll do anything you want. Just… please…
Ah, exit doorway, how I love thy comforting word. Take me back now.
NNNOOOOO! I lost a life to the pink pride parade demon ball. That just transcends embarrassment and moves into a whole new realm of personal disgrace that noone has ever touched before. Even rescuing these lands will not be enough now.
*sigh* Here we are again. A great number of omnious arrows and me, stark naked save for my fur underwear. This is just going to be great.
It’s a weird dragon-man-thing clad in purple gear. Not the weirdest I’ve seen so far.
And he dies in a blaze of glory. Maybe I’ve earned the right to go to a stage that makes sense now?
Christ! I DESERVE a punch to the jaw after a showing like that. I hope the next place will turn out somewhat normal.