Hello, everyone. It’s time for an arcade game let’s play. And what better game to pick than one of my favorite arcade games of all time; Black Tiger? (In all honesty, Rygar is my very favorite arcade game, but I’ve been able to complete that game ONE time in my entire life, and I’ve played that game lots.) So, I wish you welcome to the story of…
Black Tiger – Just another barbarian badass with a mission!
Chapter 1: I’ve got a bone to pick with you.
Because why let an entire land deal with something that I can take on by myself? Not that it’s not looking like the dragon itself is hit by lightning and dies or anything. Go confusing intros.
Giant omnious skelly on the wall, who’s the biggest badass of them all? Why… me, of course.
Anyway, what better way to start off our long, ardous journey than with “Really Bizarre Hidden Bonus Items #1: Radishes in stone”? Mmm, smaskens, Rex.
Anyway, not much to brag about in the way of enemies so far. Some minor grunts who drop coins when I beat them up. It’s almost like highschool again. I can dig it.
And bright orange treasure chests. Have a key, orange chest. I got a few to spare.
Purple birds and purple snakes? Are these Barney’s evil siblings or anything? And who the hell does the spine I’m rubbing my groin against belong to?
Another chest, standing right beside a fire-spewing wall? That’s an odd trap if I ever saw one.
Is… is that guy on fire? Wow, that’s gotta hurt.
Ok, so I came across this old guy who has turned to stone, and all I needed to do was walk into him? I am apparently more awesome than I thought.
*sigh* More straddling and groin-rubbing of giant bones. I swear… it’s like these things were set up to be the punchline of a bad joke or something.
Ahoy there, nameless grunt. I hope you’ve gotten your will completed, because you’re about to meet your makers. Given how the interior of this place looks, maybe they’ll use your spine for a nice little footrest or something.
Um… ok? So… I guess I just go “in” here, then?
…yeah, I’m sure this isn’t just some trap or something.
Ok, where the hell am I now? And where’s the door I entered from?
Well, while smashing the wall behind me didn’t unveil the entrance, at least I got some loot out of it. I guess that’s something to be happy about.
Oh, look. More bright orange chests and stoned old dudes. This is just like Bonanza Bros, only really weird.
Oh no! TWO minor axe minion dudes. Whatever will I do? And why is there a WORD on the ground there? “Pow”?
Ok, there’s the exit… I think. No cave opening or door, though. Good grief.
Don’t mind me, I’m just hanging around. Oh, by the way, did you know that you’re on fire? You might want to go get that looked at.
Hmm. Yeah, well, I guess that’s one way to spruce up your evil lair.
Oh, nice. When not being stoned, this guy runs a shop. If only I had a little bit more gold, I could have gone for the second weapon upgrade. Oh well…
Looks like it’s time for another round of “Really Bizarre Hidden Bonus Items”. This time, it’s… an elephant. I’m beginning to think that the old guys aren’t the only residents in the area that’s stoned off their asses.
Hmm, gee, I wonder which way I should go? I don’t suppose there’ll be anything really bad waiting for me down there.
Apparently not. Just two bouncing blockheads hopping around. One for the “haha wow” department.
Yep. Easily dispatched. I am the man! And wow, 300 bonus Zenny too. What the hell is “Zenny”? Is that like getting paid in gold and words of wisdom simultaneously?